The LGBTQ+ community here in the Quad Cities urgently needs to make something right.
Out Sports Quad Cities and Pride in Motion Quad Cities
It’s not something you can protest. It’s not something to tackle with signs and slogans and emotional speeches.
It’s something we’re doing to ourselves.
We have allowed a community-wide case of favoritism, elitism, and questionable practices to be nearly normalized. We’ve allowed – and some have participated in – hurtful patterns within our LGBTQ+ community, that we’ve insisted others no longer do to us.
We’re losing our way.
Out Sports and Pride in Motion: separate, not at all treated equally
I’m talking about the situation that exists today with two new LGBTQ+ sports leagues in the Quad Cities: Out Sports Quad Cities and Pride in Motion Quad Cities.
Today, one of those leagues has become the darling of LGBTQ+ community leaders, and the other has been left regarded, in their own words, as the “red-headed stepchild.”
One of those leagues got invited by a coalition of six other community groups representing the LGBTQ+ community to march with them in the annual St. Patrick’s Day parade before tens of thousands in Davenport. The other did not.
One got a bunch of publicity from a candidate for state office, who raised money for it, and also gave it several mentions on said candidate’s very large-reaching campaign page. The other didn’t get the publicity OR the money (which may be a blessing in disguise; more on that later ….)
One is getting donations from a couple dozen leading businesses and nonprofits in the community. The other is not. One gets their events shared far and wide on social media by other groups in the community; the other does not.
The imbalance is so blatant, so extreme, so obvious … yet this extreme imbalance and all that led to it are on the verge of being normalized and celebrated. The situation offers us all a painful lesson in how challenged identities can turn on themselves, become oppressors themselves, and line up for or against each other, embedding inequity into a community’s foundation.
Back in the day (summer 2025) … what is now Out Sports and Pride in Motion was one budding LGBTQ+ sports league.
From Informal Kickball to Formal Nonprofit, Then Two
Before we get into this, let me be clear; I wish all groups, individuals and businesses involved the best possible outcome. Success, peace of mind, the friendships and community you’re looking for. None of this is meant to point fingers.
In fact, my ideal resolution would be for these two groups to reunite, with the original founder as president, and reps from each of the existing groups on a united board. We’ll see ….
We can’t fix what we don’t acknowledge. And I’m confident that anyone reading this editorial will realize, the current Out Sports/Pride in Motion situation demonstrates our community has some important things to acknowledge, and to fix.
Also, I’m intentionally not mentioning names at this point — not because we won’t be, or because you can’t figure them out yourselves! But because the group dynamics, and not personal victimization or support, need to be the focus right now.
To understand this situation, you have to first understand this dramatic and slightly shocking backstory, which we’ll explore in even more detail in later editorials:
Out Sports formed first, the personal goal of a Davenport resident who had waited for more than a year to start his new sports league through the nationwide Stonewall Sports. Weary of waiting, the Out Sports founder went the other way, holding group kickball games, last summer.
They were a huge hit! After he issued several rounds of pleas for organizational support, a group of community members emerged to help the founder. They helped more than double the Facebook group following, organize the growing games, and were among the first board members when the informal sports games became an official nonprofit organization.
But despite two thriving rounds of kickball over six months, and after just one board meeting, the new nonprofit board crumbled.
The founder — who had also been named president, treasurer and registered agent — left the group via social media and email (as did another board member, and a tentative board member) and started another group and nonprofit within days with a nearly identical purpose.
We’ll get into ‘why’ later; suffice to say the board members’ departures involved a few weeks of personality conflicts, social media posts by those involved and third parties, choosing a league photographer, an argument over AI, debates over whether political candidates should be allowed to campaign at events, a doctored photo, and a clash during at least one of the league’s post-game bar visits.
Before the president/treasurer/registered agent’s departure was formally complete, the new group (which would soon choose its new name, Pride in Motion) took over the first group’s Facebook page, cutting off remaining board members from the page and all the members recruited by the founder and those cut-off board members.
In the days and weeks that followed, the remaining Out Sports board members scrambled to start a new Facebook group and website, recruit altogether new members and players, and continue the group. Pride in Motion, equipped already with about 500 followers and potential players from the original Out Sports group, moved quickly into broader steps of reorganization and marketing.
Alliances formed and broke and reformed, some in surprising ways that contradicted previous alliances. Legal threats were issued. Threats of “showing the receipts” and claims of victimization became plentiful and earned a massive social media response from the community.
Rumors began to fly community-wide.
I’d have to say during this phase, I let the community down on this topic, as a journalist. I had received many of those legal threats, and also threats to publicly share what I thought were emails between individuals as part of background conversations. The Pride in Motion leadership had publicly labelled this publication an unreliable local rag through a social media post.
The way that some community leaders embraced the stinging and accusatory social media posts left me feeling intimidated and ostracized in my community.
I was also devoting hours and hours to the wonderful task of bringing on a devoted, generous and promising new lead writing contributor. And as always, when you’re running a fast-growing publication on a shoestring budget in a community that’s preoccupied with controversies like this one, I was under constant financial pressure.
So I refrained from any further coverage of this situation, other than to equally publicize both new leagues’ activities whenever possible.
Then, in February, the systemic community favoritism began to emerge.
Before the break-up, Out Sports members gathered regularly at Devon’s Complaint Department after games.
Snowball of imbalance is on the verge of being normalized
I am in no position to say which of the patterns below are intentionally vindictive, strategic for someone’s ulterior motives, or a result of some people not knowing they were participating in favoritism.
I just know the imbalance and favoritism took root, blossomed, spread like wildfire, and is now on the verge of normalization. Two groups that each have grown at about the same rate of 200 or more new Facebook group followers — one from scratch, and the other building on an existing recruited list of 500 — are receiving entirely different levels of support and recognition throughout the community:
• The six elite organizations known as Out & Proud in the Quad Cities invited Pride in Motion to join them in the St. Patrick’s Day parade, but not Out Sports.
• A state-level political candidate with a massive social media following announced in early April he’d chosen Pride in Motion as the recipient of his upcoming bingo fundraiser, but has never mentioned Out Sports.
• Photos and mentions of Pride in Motion began to appear on the candidate’s campaign page, but none of Out Sports. Photos of the candidate appeared in the nonprofits’s Facebook group, as part of publicizing the fundraiser.
• A half-dozen leading LGBTQ+ businesses and nonprofits began to appear as financial sponsors of Pride in Motion. Their logos and names and links and events began appearing in the Pride in Motion Facebook group and on its website. A dozen or so more soon followed.
• The benefits began to extend to Pride in Motion group members, whose businesses also began to receive this exposure, and others who expressed mutual support to Pride in Motion. Other businesses or community service groups that were in bad favor with Pride in Motion — this one, for instance — were disregarded.
For example, articles we’d submit for sharing would not be shared. Our news products, including articles and the news/events Bulletin that highlighted both groups’ events, have never been shared by the group to its membership.
I was recently informed that my carefully reasoned and researched refusal to print the group’s demanded corrections had caused me to be on a real-life “block” list, despite numerous offers of an interview that also included a pre-publication fact-check With Pride in Motion.
I was denied any response or information from the board and asked not to contact them again.
• A local television station provided Pride in Motion a TV interview, apparently drawn by a really good pitch from someone! The station plucked Pride in Motion out of a professed 300 pitches and emails per day, to give Pride in Motion a four-minute interview and additional publicity.
Thankfully, that TV station already has reached out to the other group, too, for an interview.
That’s a great start. But what does our actual LGBTQ+ community need to do, to right this dangerous near-normalization of favoritism, elitism and questionable nonprofit practices?
Righting the wrongs is easy; let’s get started
In keeping with MainStream’s overall philosophy, we never raise an issue or concern, without also offering solutions. This one has some relatively easy components that are basically “mission first, friendship second,” “stay in your lane,” and “think critically and independently.”
Under the umbrella wish that these two groups become one and work it all out, I call on our community to implement at least a few, but ideally all, of the following recommendations:
• Every entity that donated to Pride in Motion might consider, in the interests of community equity, donating to the original Out Sports Quad Cities, too. Donation information for both groups is at the end of this article.
• Community leaders positioning themselves as promoting unity or serving the entire community (especially those leading or acting as spokespeople for nonprofits), but who are only active on Pride in Motion’s social media, might consider also joining Out in Sports Quad Cities’ social media accounts. Give both groups an equal opportunity to earn your community, financial, and social media support. Links to each group’s Facebook group are provided at the end of this article.
• Other community groups that have been sharing only or mostly Pride in Motion social media postings could think about sharing Out Sports Quad Cities information, too.
• Facebook group members and players who originally signed up for Out Sports but suddenly found themselves in a Pride in Motion Facebook group can ponder the idea of registering again for the original group they signed up for. Facebook group links and also player registration links for both groups are at the end of this article.
• Community leaders and business owners can strive to be less vulnerable to gossip, especially among and regarding community groups or people experiencing differences. When you hear of a grievance, do some opposition research. Talk to “both sides.” Don’t believe everything you hear. Look for consistent, not selective, transparency.
• Community leaders who have favored one group over the other in publicity and fundraising efforts, and engaged in erasure of the other, can think about nobly apologizing for the favoritism or find a way to make up for it. In candidates’ cases, however, only the apology will work: the fundraising and publicity of a nonprofit never should have been happening in a political campaign and raises at minimum ethical if not legal and financial questions. Also, a candidate seeking to represent an entire community or district should easily be capable of putting aside friendship bonds to represent an entire community at the micro-local level.
• All nonprofits — please!! — can begin stopping the political engagement. No more candidates wearing campaign shirts at your events. Or mentioning political candidates at your events. Stop encouraging people at your events to vote for someone. Stop posting about political candidates on your social media. Stop letting your nonprofit be featured prominently on political candidates’ social media and other campaign material.
• The people involved in this are relatively new community leaders. They must be getting advice from some other more seasoned leaders out there. If not, they should. If they already are, and that guidance helped lead them into the morass now, we need different advice maybe from different people and mentors.
• All nonprofit boards need to ensure the same person is never serving simultaneously as president, treasurer and registered agent. Especially for president and treasurer, independent beings need to fill those roles. No legitimate nonprofit should have the same person as president and treasurer.
Women in sports: a missed chance to recognize a landmark
There is another big blaring reason why clearing up this imbalance over these Quad Cities LGBTQ+ sports leagues NOW is important.
As in life, so it is in our LGBTQ+ community: the most marginalized among us suffer the most when inequity, favoritism, elitism and cronyism are allowed to flourish. The Out Sports Quad Cities board, the one that is on the short stick of community leader friendship circles and financial donations, is an all-female board.
This is a landmark that is newsworthy in and of itself, and that we as a community should be celebrating and supporting. Did we not just experience the Caitlin Clark era, when gender inequity in organized sports was so vividly illuminated? That imbalance starts at the local level, and Out Sports is busting down that glass ceiling.
Yet, in our community, Out Sports is fighting erasure. That is wrong.
These situations are arising increasingly in our community. We have all kinds of ethical quandaries, questionable overlaps, mutual back-scratching or friendship circle bonds that lead to questionable decisions presented to the broader community as representative.
It’s not unusual; it’s what growing communities go through. The key question is: what kind of foundation will we choose after situations like this one help us be more aware we’re going astray?
We’ve been so busy organizing against the enemy of “them,” we’ve focused little on the ethical principles of how “we” treat “us.” We’ve overlooked deep, hard questions like:
- What values matter to us as humans and not just LGBTQ+ community members, or leaders, or activists?
- What are the healthiest practices to build an authentically healthy and strong community from within? I’m not talking about what you do with your Google profile, or whether you got pronouns training. I’m talking about the principles that shape your decisions on what you do, say, think — and in today’s world, post on social media.
- How do we guard against our own personal prejudices, motives and friendship alliances getting in the way of good decision-making as nonprofits and groups?
- How do we separate community from conformity, politics, and friendship? True community doesn’t really center around any of these; it transcends them all. Yet, a pressure to conform in many ways, share political views, or earn your way into community through a friendship circle are emerging as the foundations of our budding Quad Cities’ LGBTQ+ community. That’s dangerous – and also not authentic community.
It’s important to reiterate, again, this editorial is not to point fingers. Or to proclaim anyone’s guilt or innocence, of anything. I remain hopeful for reunion and unity that rightfully honors the founder but also others who stepped forward to help and committed to the nonprofit.
Rather, it’s to help illuminate what is, and what is also unspoken: this pattern of favoritism regarding these two currently separate leagues is clear, growing, not justified by any known facts, and will be hurtful to our community in the long run.
I believe that deep down, everyone involved here has good intentions. Even those who have engaged in blatant favoritism of one group, and erasure of another, believe they’re acting honorably. The original founder of Out Sports in particular should be commended for having a great idea, originally.
But when you surrender your personal dream and vision of a sports league and friendship match-making to a nonprofit, you also surrender it to the control of a group beyond you. You agree, voluntarily or legally, to responsibilities, procedures, ideal or recommended timelines, expected best practices, limitations, and tools of accountability that are much, MUCH different than pulling together informal kickball games on Sundays, or becoming the social center of the LGBTQ+ community.
It’s important — indeed, essential — that we honor those heightened responsibilities and procedures designed to put the mission above friendships, business bonds, political beliefs and everything else.
The businesses and nonprofits involved here also have varying levels of culpability. Some are well aware of this drama and trauma. And apparently don’t care, or feel comfortable showing favoritism of one over the other.
Some are innocent bystanders sucked in unknowingly to a questionable situation – a status I believe they share with most of both sports league’s Facebook group members and player rosters.
Yet, the reality remains, this problematic example of imbalance and favoritism to friends is clearly happening.
Why does all of this matter, some may ask? Why spend time picking on the nonprofits in the LGBTQ+ community and raising questions about each other, when we’re having it so rough out there in the world with all those anti-trans’ laws and stuff?
Some recent happenings help illustrate why it’s essential that nonprofits get off to an ethical start, and function with best practices every step, in everything it does:
- In Springfield, Ill., a state investigation found that the most respected LGBTQ+ nonprofit in the region – an organization in charge of the community’s HIV testing, harm reduction efforts, trans’ support services, annual Pride event, and year-round LGBTQ+ socializing – may have been committing fraud with state grant funds for years.
- In Waukegan, key leaders of a Black Lives Matter nonprofit resigned in disgrace after questions arose about how grants funds were used, and they were caught on tape physically feuding over the controversy
- In Iowa City, a Pride president once entrusted by top levels of, well, everything in the community was found to have embezzled $36,000 in community donations.
- In Des Moines, the leader of a deeply trusted statewide nonprofit left abruptly a few years ago after an investigation raised questions over $12,000 in state funds.
I’m not saying any malfeasance happened with Out Sports and Pride in Motion. In fact, I highly doubt that it did. I’m saying instead, the above situations sprouted when a nonprofit got too comfy/cozy. When best practices were gradually not followed. When the organization mission got displaced by personal agendas, friendships that led to compromised or lax decisions that may have snowballed, and other dynamics.
Here in this writing space, I and others will be bringing situations like this back into focus more often, and gently helping to suggest remedies. It’s something I’ve held back on doing for years, literally composing full editorials about so many troubling situations, but allowing only a few to be published, more often self-censoring out of the fear and intimidation I described earlier.
But seeing this “tale of two sports leagues” veer off-path and out-of-control, while increasingly wearing a veil of public approval, has helped me realize I can’t let fear and intimidation be the lead anymore.
These issues need to be addressed openly, and compassionately, and currently are not. It’s time again to write more about what no one else appears willing to say.
All in good time. For now, we have an urgent wrong to right. We have a clear case of unjustified inequity spreading throughout our community that needs to be remedied.
Let’s show we are truly resilient as an LGBTQ+ community. That we’re able to adjust when we go off-path, and can course-correct as we grow. That we understand the importance of equity within, not just out there, and of giving everyone a chance to thrive. Our community will be stronger and healthier because of it.
Let’s start now. See links below to donate, follow the Facebook pages, or register to play in both leagues. Let’s’ right the imbalance and demonstrate we mean it when we claim to be against exclusion and are a safe, welcoming community for EVERYONE.
Out Sports Quad Cities:
Donate: through Venmo @OUTQC
Join the Facebook group: Out Sports Quad Cities
Pride in Motion:
Donate: through Venmo @PrideInMotion
Join the Facebook group: Pride in Motion
