As we leave the Pagan season of Imbolc and approach Ostara coming March 20th, it’s a good time to share how I came to follow Pagan spirituality.
Shortly after being baptized and confirmed in the Methodist faith at age 14, I fell into a deep depression. I never felt quite sure as a child what was going on in the home and was alienated for my differences in opinions.
I started with tantrums and anger that grew into self-harm and self-medication. Some days, I felt so low, I could hardly get out of my funk by myself. Slowly, day by day and with the help of therapists, chemicals and many plateaus, I began to see every day that the sky was blue and the grass was green.
This is also how I discovered the Pagan religion, giving my pain to Gaia, mother earth. I became once again the child who loved earth so much that I even enjoyed observing the smallest ants. I now embrace many witchy earth-loving practices that soothe me like traditional spirituality did not:
• My meditation practice includes visualization. I visualize the situation I’m about to face — a job interview, for example. I visualize walking in the door confidently, and the words I want to be sure are heard. This enables me to recognize and overcome fears in a possibly emotional situation. By activating my chakras, my fears have power in a different way, with joy instead of angst. This also helps me find the words to describe scenarios, which then helps me find my truths. That in turn, helps my goals to resonate with my words. I find that I am calmer and more articulate.
• I practice good breathing during meditation. For starters, a deep breath from my diaphragm ignites my root chakra. By taking five deep breaths at my own pace, I can calm down, and my mind becomes a blank field. Worries, or things I should have done, become wisps. I can decide whether or not they get picked back up or float away to the void. By practicing breathing during meditation, we teach our bodies to remember to breathe during difficult situations. The quality of our breath while processing in real time will allow us to stay grounded and open our hearts to truth.
• Without the darkness, there is no light. This is a message I apply to candle magic, lighting a white candle with a black one. In addition, during this ritual I always have a black stone like tourmaline, onyx, apache tears or obsidian on my altar.
• To keep my heart open, I carry a stone. I may also find a stone to carry in my pocket that signifies either the shadow I’m trying to banish or the message of light from meditation.
During winter, as the snow lays heavily on the frozen earth, the seeds of things to come in the new year have already been planted. This began in early December, when we moved from the fire sign of Sagittarius known for their hustle and motivation, to the grounded earth sign Capicorn that signifies loyalty and determination.
For me, this manifested by completing the year with strength. I found old habits that needed to be sloughed off for change to happen. I found myself digging deeper into balancing how I loved others and myself.
We are now in a time of “what if.” It’s a time to sit with our shadow side and recognize our dark sides as glorious vixens to understand, something that makes us who we are. WInter’s low temperatures may envelop all of life, but we know that spring will come, and this is part of the earth’s cycle.
Though you may feel pent up, try not to waste the gift of winter. Look inside and prepare for the year, before those first blooms appear on the branches. Whatever your spirituality, we are gearing up for spring festivals — Passover in Judaism, Lent for Christians, Iranian New Year Nowruz or Ostara leading to Beltane.
This is a time to find resolution.
